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Team Mates


Although not often, I’ve definitely used the term “boyfriend” in reference to The Attorney before.

In fact, I remember the first time I accidentally said it out loud.

But that was when things were still very new between us.

The reason I don’t use it much now is because “boyfriends” always makes me think of fresh-faced twenty-somethings.

At 37 and 52, we are a far cry from those days.

Even though we have become as routine as an old married couple, I can’t really say “husband.”

I don’t see a ring on my finger.

Nor do we share a home, vehicles, bank accounts, etc.

Plus, this is Tennessee.  Birthplace of the Tea Party.1

“Sidekick” implies that one is in charge of the other.

We both have alpha tendencies, depending on the time, place, or activity.

So that’s probably why I mostly use the word “partner.”

It’s the best fit for us.

Because good partnerships balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses toward a better whole.

And in that regard, we make a pretty good team.

Which is pretty much what makes any sort of relationship a success:


Maybe the right word is “teammate.”

I kinda like that image.

  1. Not the tea dance. 

Published inAttorneyTo Live By


  1. I learn a lot about myself and my partner in our relationship from reading your blog. Thank you.

  2. mike moore mike moore

    Three years ago, we took a home in Asheville, NC, not far from you. Unlike NYC, I’ve learned that when we’re were outside of Asheville, referring to my “husband” (we are indeed married) can get an outright hostile reaction. So, we, too, often use the word “partner” … particularly in small towns which have more Baptist churches than BBQ joints.

    Still, inside our home, and even though we’re in our early 50’s and have been together for 25+ years, we like to use the term “boyfriend.” Every time I think of my ‘boyfriend’, I remember we are still the same guys who like to laugh and date, go to movies and out to dinner, and take fun tumbles in the hay … like fresh-faced kids, we are boyfriends with all sorts of endless possibilities.

    I guess it’s the perfect love triangle … I’m love with my husband with whom I share a bond and memories and years of life experiences – both good and bad. And I’m in love with my boyfriend, knowing that with him, there’s always new experiences, things to learn about him, and excitement and fresh possibilities around the next corner.

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