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Scratch It (NSFW)

02/22/2014

knesox

Bathed in soft filtered sun light, He’s there waiting for you.

Already on his belly.

An ass so round, meaty, and plump, that its only possible position in the air.

Like a landing strip ready for a 747 Airbus to come in.

Handsome.

Rugged.

Groomed.

And – cue the record scratch – wearing thigh-high knee socks.1

WTF?

Bone kill.

If a tree falls in the forest, it’s probably because a lumberjack is wearing thigh-highs socks.


  1. As if he was Alicia Silverstone in “Clueless.” 

3 Comments

That’s What She Said (NSFW)

02/16/2014

I’m not a Grindr-er nor a Scruffian.

And this is the first I’ve heard of Growlr1.

But I am a Tweeter and a Tumblr-er.2

So I’m no strangr to what a man will say to get in your britches.

Plus, being a man myself, I know what a man will say to get in your britches.

But some of the things that often will make you roll your eyes will have you rolling on the floor with laughter when you hear it come out of a woman’s mouth.3

Check it: “Ladies Reading Filthy Grindr/Scruff Messages” (NSFW):

I want all the sections with the black lady on endless loop.

Found at Queerty.


  1. I imagine there must be a Woofr out there, too. 

  2. TOTALLY NSFW 

  3. ROTFWLr 

3 Comments

Sloppy Kisses

02/16/2014

Valentine’s Day was coming to an end.

The night table and floor next to bed was littered with several empty foil wrappers.

From all the Hershey’s Kisses.

The Attorney knows I love them so he brought a bag as a gift.

Between rounds one and two, we popped it open to celebrate.

We ate a few.  We played with a few.

And somewhere, one of then got away.

When you find a brown streak on the sheets, your first thought does not go to chocolate.

You immediately become suspect of each other’s current state of hygiene.

The Attorney assured me that because not only was it a Friday, but especially because it was Valentine’s Day, he had come to the house properly prepared.1

I was about to shamefully take the heat until I spotted a mushy wad on his lower back.

Too large2 to be a stray bean, it was obviously a kiss had gotten underneath him.

“Smell it,” he said, laughing and arching toward my face.

Pretty confident that it was Hershey goodness, I did.

Next, I may or may not have scooped it off with my tongue.3

He might have giggled and called me “dirty” after that.

Thankfully it all happened late in the game.

Nothing changes a mood more than white sheets, a brown stain, and two people with OCD.


  1. And my dick was clean. 

  2. and in the wrong place 

  3. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for chocolate. 

3 Comments

Super Generator

02/15/2014

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Night Knight.

I guess my special power is inducing slumber.

My catchphrase?

“The Night Knight says ‘nite-nite.’”

Then I would snap the villains neck or something.

If I used my full first name then I would be Mr. Knight.

As in “That’s Mr. Knight to you, boy.”

I like my old Super Hero identity better.

5 Comments

Consistency

02/14/2014

samelove

So, it’s Valentine’s Day.

The day that couples show off to their friends how happy they are appear.

I almost did something for The Attorney that would have been a big Valentine’s Day fuss.

But, we’ve never made a huge deal out of Valentine’s Day.

We tend to focus more on birthdays.  Days that belong only to us.1

So, I decided the plan was too much and will probably save it for his 54th in May.

Since it’s Friday, it’s our usual date night anyway.

So, it probably won’t be much different than other Fridays.

Burgers, Scrabble, Sex.

No cards.  No flowers.

Maybe a bag of Hershey’s Kisses2 will be thrown in to commemorate the holiday.

But basically just loving each other no differently than we do the other 364.

Which is probably how it should be.

Consistent.

The same love.


  1. well, at least not the whole world on the same day. 

  2. my favorite candy 

2 Comments

Red It

02/12/2014

redsaleslide

OK folks…

My humble little T-shirt shop Shirts and Grins is having a Valentine’s Day Red Sale.  You get 15% off all designs printed on red, burgundy, and pink shirts until February 16.  So, if you haven’t bought a shirt yet1 now is a good time!

Use code: CUPID2014 at checkout.

Click here to see all our RED SALE collection!

You can get other colors, too, at the full price of only $20.

Go to the full online store here.

And spread the word!


  1. and why haven’t you? 

No Comments

Is That A Placebo In Your Pants?

02/12/2014

I read an article once about how the placebo effect plays a role in the effectiveness of medications.

Even legit medications are said to be more successful when you believe they work.

I wonder if that holds true for Viagra.

I tested it out this weekend.

Not the placebo effect.  Viagra, itself.

I wanted to see what it would do to someone who hasn’t experienced any ED issues yet.

Would it even work?

The short answer: YES.

I got a boner of a hardness I’m not sure has occurred since somewhere around age 18.

And I swear I was thicker than I have ever been.1

And it kept coming back.

All day.

Not constant, but recurring.

All weekend.

And well into Monday.

Sometimes put to use, sometimes just for show.

Viagra is not supposed to be effective over days.2

But it was.

Was it because I believed?

Because, let me tell you, I was believing so hard that I clapped my way into a standing ovation.

Over and over again.

I couldn’t have a dirty thought without creating a scene.

Now, it’s not that unusual for me to get repeat chubs throughout the day.

But not normally with such frequency or ease.

Not at age 38.

But I was definitely feeling like a teenager again. Even a little awkward about it. You know how at that age you’re all cock and no finesse.

How much of it was medicine and how much was mind over mass remains to be seen.  The issue has subsided3, so I can only test it again to be sure.

But if I can get a few days out of one Viagra, I wonder if I can pull a week or two out of Cialis.

I think I may be beginning to understand addiction.


  1. And I’m already thick as a video girl’s booty. 

  2. That’s a feature of Cialis. 

  3. and it feels kind of dead 

9 Comments

Dune Buddy (NSFW)

02/5/2014

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Is there anything more beautiful on the beach than the dunes?

6 Comments

P & A

02/5/2014

It seems like everybody goes to the gym now.

Gay men, anyway.

I don’t.

Seems like every time I meet someone new who is gay, at some point I get asked what gym I go to.

At first I was flattered by it, thinking it was a  compliment.  But I have come to realize in the gay community it’s just one of those questions you ask. Like when Southerners ask what church you go to.

I play basketball, though.

That and a being naturally skinny have kept me in decent shape.

I tried the gym for a while several years back.  But it just wasn’t me.

The act of picking up heavy things, putting them down, then picking them up again for no reason1 bores me to tears.

I’m no stranger to labor and heavy lifting.  But it’s got to be for a purpose.

The five gallon buckets need to go to the second floor, for example.

I’m the same way about running.

The Attorney runs several miles most every day.2

And I think, “Why?  What’s chasing you?”

Something like running with the bulls, I get.

Well, actually, no.  I get running from the bulls. You better run or you’re dead.3

Although it seems a bit foolish to me to put yourself in their path in the first place.

I guess  many people find basketball equally pointless.

But it’s a game.  So, it’s fun.

And getting in shape is a side-effect.

Most of you know I have always wanted to have meaty chest and an ass.

Not a huge amount in either case. Just enough that I don’t basically disappear when I turn side ways.4

All the running and jumping in basketball still hasn’t give me an ass.  It’s probably just not in the cards for me. So, I should just let that dream go.

But, basketball, itself, doesn’t give you pecs.

Which is why I’m thinking of joining a gym.

I’m less than 18 months from hitting 40.5

I figure the window of opportunity to be able to fill out one of my T-shirts is starting to close.

Or maybe I just ask The Attorney for implants for my 40th.


  1. other than vanity. 

  2. As well as going to the gym. 

  3. Or gored.  Not in the good way. 

  4. If it weren’t for my nose and pecker you’d hardly know I was there. 

10 Comments

Sleep Number

01/23/2014

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It won’t surprise anyone that my sleep number is 4.  ((If it’s chilly, maybe the top half of 2.))

What’s yours?

30 Comments
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