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I am still so speechless about this, I don’t know what to even write.

These two incredible illustrations are by a pretty fucking amazing Canadian artist named Chris Soueidan.

He calls then LOOGS.

And his work can be found at LOOGART.

Chris and I crossed paths on Twitter and I told him how much I admired his work.

I especially love his celebrity graphics.

And now I have a LOOG of my very own.

Two actually.

I can’t believe how well he captured me.  Giraffe neck and monkey ears, all.

Then, of course, there is the wife beater and the Smokey Mountains.

And you can guess what the horse (knight) might represent.

One of them is going on the sidebar, but I can’t decide which one I like better.

I just love them both.

What do y’all think?

Be sure to go to LOOGART and check out what he has to offer.  You can buy prints and even get your own custom LOOG.

Go ahead.  Let him LOOG you.

You’ll love it.

I think I’m even gonna have Chris LOOG The Attorney for his next birthday.

UPDATE: LOOGART is offering a special deal for my readers!  Order a custom LOOG and receive 20% off!!  Enter code “LARGETONY” at check out.



Stand Firm


I write this with a firm resolve.

And I firm erection.

Very firm.

Because of Bulging Bulgarian Olympic daddy gymast Jordan Jovtchev.

I am obsessed.

Firm in my obsession.

And firm in my underpants.

I’ve definitely gained a greater appreciation for the 40-and-over set in recent years.

What with my own march toward 40, and 5+ years of knocking boots with the now 50-and-over set Attorney.

JJ isn’t quite there yet, but at 39 and handsome as fuck, I’m willing to make an exception.

I’m just a good guy like that.

And firm.

Very firm.

He may no longer have the skills of his younger competition, but combine what he can do with that body and the kind of experience that comes with his age, and…well…

Talk about explosive moves on the apparatus.

Perfect 10.0.

I stand firmly behind that score.

Almost as firmly as I would stand behind him.

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Gay Bottom



This is Olympian Tyson Gay.1

That is his bodacious bottom.

Call me Timmy and trap me in the well, cause you could never hit bottom trying to hit that bottom.

  1. That’s his name.  I make no speculation on his sexuality. 

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Large Questions 3


Latest installment of reader questions.

Q. When was the last time you had a vacation? How long and where did you go ?

A real honest-to-God vacation.  Lordy, I’m thinking about 13 years or so. It was Myrtle Beach for a few days.

Q. When are you coming down under? I know you say you are from the south but you aint as far south as me!

Since your toilets flush backwards and Christmas is in the summer, does that mean you are really further north?  Actually, Australia is on my list of places to visit someday.  Along with Italy, New York, San Francisco, and Houston.

Q. What are the Attorney’s feelings (and yours) about your “long distance relationship” of sorts? Has it ever caused any rifts? Will it change at some point?

It is something that he has had more trouble with than I have.  We actually split up over it for a while early in the relationship. It took him a while to really understand that it’s circumstance, not a preference.  It probably won’t change until Granny passes, although we manage it better now than we used to.  After that, who knows?  Even though he was born in the country, and I was born in the city,  now he’s really a city mouse and I’m really a country mouse.  So we have that to come to terms with.

Q. Reference has been made to your Tumblr page; is it accessible to your readers?

Yes.  You’ve had the power all along.

Q. Is your cock intact or cut? How about the attorney’s? Do you have a preference?

Cut and cut. No preference.  I really don’t have preferences when it comes to peckers. I reserve that for asses and legs.  I sometimes wonder “what if” I had not been circumcised.  It would be a little bit thicker, which would be cool.


More to come.

Something you want to know?

Ask me, maybe.

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Furry Tail – NSFW



It would be like dragging a heavy log through thick brush.

But, I’ve never been one afraid of a little hard work.

That’s just part of being a lumberjack.

Besides, everyone knows that furry tails always have a happy ending.

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Can you say how many folks you’ve had sex with?

I can’t.

Not a firm number, anyway.

Not because there’s been all that many.

The number is probably a lot less that most of you probably think it is.

Especially if we’re only counting men.

Many of them were so long ago, I’m not sure I remember anymore.

I remember the standouts, of course. But I’ve been knocking it solely with The Attorney a little more than five years and I had about a year and a half hiatus before that.

So that makes it about seven years since I have taken anybody to the mat other than him.

And it’s highly unlikely that I will ever have sex with another man again.

Other than The Attorney, I mean.

Because I’m the monogamous type.

And I’m invested enough in this current ride on the monogamy-go-round to have a lifetime ticket.

But, that doesn’t mean I might not spot a pretty face in the crowd rolling by. One that I might want to take a couple of spins with.

Here’s the thing about monogamy: It erases all the barriers to sexual fulfillment with the one you love while, at the same time, cock-blocking any fulfillment with the ones you lust after.

And as long as I have my senses and a steady blood flow into my britches, I will know lust.

I won’t deny there’s a bedroom bucket list.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have desire for men other than your own.

In fact, I think it’s healthy.

A friend of The Attorney likes to say, “Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t go to Kroger’s.”

On one hand, I have to agree. I don’t really believe humans are wired for monogamy.

Especially male humans.

It’s just something we are taught is supposed to be.

But, I was also taught that being an ass hound is sinful.

Yet I have managed to reconciled that breach of ethics in myself.

So why do I feel so strongly about monogamy for myself?

I don’t know.

Maybe it’s simply the way my particular wiring works.

I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t thrown the log on a few fires, but in those times I have been serious with someone, I’ve always been all in.

Folks who are in open relationships have always fascinated me. It’s almost having your cake and eating it.

And I applaud those who are able to make it work.

I don’t think I could.

I’m not sure I could even play with someone along with The Attorney, let alone play on the side.

Actually I am sure.

Sure that I couldn’t.

The Attorney even asked me once if that was something I would ever want to do.

I can’t remember my exact response, but I know that he has never brought up the hypothetical again.

At least I think it was hypothetical.

It better have been.

Yet, if I was single, I would have no problem being the special guest of a host couple.

And I can be a shameless flirt.

Which The Attorney is fine with.

I just can’t take it further.

And I don’t want him to want me to.

So, I guess it’s more about insecurity than anything.

I grabbed hold of that brass ring and I’m afraid to let go.

Even for a second.

[ fin ]

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It’s back.

Well, it didn’t really go away, but I finally got the overhaul of the LT-Shirt Company web site about 95% complete.

Besides a new cleaner, easier to navigate layout, I have also introduced a few new shirt designs (as well as discontinuing some older ones.)

In addition, I have switched to American Apparel T-Shirts, so the quality is better and it offered me a better color selection.

Check it out.

And buy my shit.


1 Comment

Oh No, She Di’-n’t


My sweet little 95 year-old granny has never been a woman without opinions.

She’s generally not mouthy about them, but sometimes a comment will quietly shoot out of her like a dart gun.

Then she’ll move on like nothing happened.

Yesterday afternoon she was watching playback of the Olympic opening ceremonies on the DVR.

“Heavens, she’s looking old,” she offered up.

Granny was throwing shade on the Queen of England.

Makes me wonder what she see in her own mirror.

Particularly since, by my calculations, she was already in about the fourth grade when the Queen was born.

But that was just a warning shot.

“All that money and never has been able to dress herself,” she fired next.

Her Majesty just took one in the neck.

And it was over.

Carry on.

On an unrelated but mildly similar vein, several days ago I playfully growled to The Attorney, “Come over here and let me get a hold of them love handles.”

“Like hell,” he bristled, lifting up his shirt tail to display his waistline. “You see any handles anywhere?”

I didn’t.

Not around his waist.

I was talking about his ears.

Carry on.

[ fin ]

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Olympic Massage



Has anyone else noticed that the 2012 Olympics logo looks like somebody giving a blow job?  (Lisa Simpson to a headless man, in fact.)

The tag line for the event is “inspiring a generation.”

With the spreading of this massage message, no wonder Grindr crashed when the athletes arrived in London.

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1 Comment

Hey Ricky You So Fine


What a way to kick of the Opening Ceremonies day of the 2012 Olympics.

I don’t know too much about swimmer Ricky Berens, except that he made the Olympic team after Phelps pulled out of an event.

And that he’s awful sexy.

And has a huge mouth.

Look at it.

Makes you just want to stick something in it.

I’ll give him a couple of different opening ceremonies.


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