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Conversation Starter


It’s how we did it when I was a kid: Halloween costumes made from whatever we could come up with in the house.

So, that’s how I did it at age 37.

Kilt, boots, wife beater, cock ring, and my Grandaddy’s hat.

The only thing I bought was the little mask, because I wanted to be sure it stayed on good.

“Everybody is going to ask you what you are supposed to be.”

I didn’t think it mattered what I was as long as it was a costume.

If nothing else, it would be a conversation starter.

But The Attorney was right.

“What/Who are you?” was one of the two Questions of the Night.

I decided that I was some sort of Scottish carny. But on the drive over, he came up with “The CockRingmaster of Cirque Mc Soliel.”

I stuck with “Scottish carny.”  It was an easier answer.

The second Question of the Night, I expected.

“Are you wearing anything under the kilt?”

Or some variation on that.

The first person to ask was The Attorney.

I gave him an “of course not” look.

Apparently he read it as an “of course” look.

So, imagine my surprise at his surprise when he discovered I was wearing the kilt properly.

I was mostly surprised that he made the discovery at the party.

All night long I was very careful about how I would sit, so that no one would really know.

Mental note: next time take standing on balconies into account, too.

Talk about your about conversation starters.

Published inAttorneyWest of Mayberry


  1. Ron Ron



  2. John Clarke John Clarke

    I bet you were quite the conversation starter! “Are you wearing anything underneath would’ve been my first question 😉

  3. Obviously this story caught your mind a lot, hm; well after all, you’ve managed to change something unpleasant (I guess) into something rather interesting .

  4. irisgirl irisgirl

    You look awesome………”hot” is an understatement! And of course we want details of how the Attorney made his discovery…..

  5. I would have asked…. well, never mind… sexy!

  6. EXcellent costume! And three cheers for balconies!! Happy Halloween, Tony!

  7. brian brian

    Priceless!!! This post had me on the floor with laughter. And who knew there are balconies in TN?

  8. Rob Rob

    Nice, Very nice.

  9. Johnny Johnny

    Great costume Tony, you look totally awesome. Happy Halloween.

  10. Chris Chris

    Great costume and like the kilt! Happy Halloween.

  11. Love the whole look. What’s the point however of wearing the kilt “properly” , if you don’t occasionally provide a flash of what you’ve got underneath?

  12. mike moore mike moore

    Much scarier than I’d imagined … the hat and mask reminds me of “A Clockwork Orange.”

  13. Alex in California Alex in California

    Uh-huh…A Clockwork Orange. That’s what first came to mind. Then it wasn’t until I enlarged the picture that I realized that you were wearing the cock ring on a chain.

  14. You look very strapping and handsome in your costume. 🙂 I have to admit, I’d be asking if you were wearing anything under as well. ah, who am I kidding, I’d just look for myself.

  15. wfregosi wfregosi

    If the cock ring was an official part of your costume, I wouldn’t expected you to be concerned about people seeing that you were commando under the kilt.

  16. David David

    I prayed for a photo and you delivered! Clever cock ring use. Must agree with Moby, I’d have checked under the tartan to make sure the meat and two veg were swinging freely…

    Now I’m extra-curious to know what The Attorney wore!

  17. Cb Cb

    I’m sure you gave all “the gayz” something to talk about indeed!

  18. very nice costume.

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