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Cake Climber



Several weeks ago, long before Granny went into the hospital, The Attorney may or may not have asked me to marry him.

He just said out-of-the-blue, “When the time comes, why don’t we move to Massachusetts or somewhere we could get married?”

He said it so casually that I just blew if off as rhetorical.

Then he asked, “Do you believe in soul mates?”

I do.

I’m just not sure I believe in marriage.

For myself.

For other folks I think it’s great.

It’s not that I’m against it.  It just isn’t something that I felt like I really needed to be happy.

But, my eyes have been opened to the possibility.

I’m not climbing to the top of the cake or anything, yet.  But I’m probably at the base wondering what the view is like up there.

And maybe there’s a long-legged fella with a wide-mouthed grin waiting for me to get to where we take the final tier together.

Someone that has shown me that he’s not gonna let me fall off.

I don’t think it will come as a surprise to anyone reading when I say I’ve known for some time that The Attorney is committed to our relationship.  Neither a surprise that he is nor a surprise that I know it.

We got to bring Granny home today.  Because she is getting better.

And all his efforts on her behalf and mine these recent weeks have been momumental, tireless, and completely unselfish.

I came to realize that my long-legged, wide-grinning man is committed not only to me, but to everything that comes with me.

That’s a person you climb a cake for.

And one you hold tight to, to make sure that he doesn’t fall either.

But he’s gonna have to ask me proper.

[ fin ]

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There are 24 comments in this article:

  1. 05/18/2012Brenton says:

    I’m sure the view from the top tier will be wonderful for the two of you, especially if you take your time to appreciate the views along the way.

    Glad to hear Granny is doing better.

    B x

  2. 05/18/2012royster says:

    always had a thing for Howard Sprague, he seemed so….solid. The “marriage” debate is for another day…i am thankful you are open to his plighting of troth, and that Granny is home. Sleep easy my friend, you have earned it.

  3. 05/18/2012SemperFido says:

    Amazing sentiments, Tony.
    Hearts are breaking all over the world.

  4. 05/18/2012Lee says:

    Yes the Attorney is going to have to ask Granny first for your hand in marriage. I am grinning edge to edge giddy you might be taking the plunge. I long to be a virtual flower girl.

  5. 05/18/2012Sean says:

    Good news all around – I like it and am happy for all of you.

  6. 05/18/2012gino says:

    Go for it but I would not trade Tennessee for Massachusetts!

  7. 05/18/2012Sue says:

    I am very glad to hear that Granny is doing better.

    OMG! I am so happy for you Tony! To think that you could tie the knot, so to speak, with this man! I’m gushing! Sorry, but this part of me is all female! I know you would miss Tennessee like anything, because Massachusetts is nothing like it whatsoever! But if you did come North, we could meet! Yay! Anyhow, check out other Northern states where you guys can marry, for example, like Connecticut! Though, Western Mass. is more wild too. So exciting for you! Give it a solid think though. I know you will!

  8. 05/18/2012rayrayj says:

    I hope he asks you proper and I hope you say yes. Just let us know where you’re registered :)

  9. 05/18/2012BosGuy says:

    I can think of more than a few places here in Massachusetts which might make the perfect backdrop for such an occasion.

  10. 05/18/2012irisgirl says:

    I’m almost speechless. (shocked you there for a second, didn’t I?)

    You write with such simple elegance, conveying amazing description and emotion in a few beautifully-crafted words. It’s a privilage to read this!

    Oh, and WOW! I’m doing a rainbow happy dance for you and the Attorney……I wanna be a bridesmaid!

    and Welcome home Granny—-you’ve got a couple of really special guys there looking out for you with love and caring–but I know you know that!

  11. 05/18/2012Royster says:

    is there ROOM in Massachusetts for all that is Large Tony? after all, TN is one wide state. Perhaps a quick trip up for the ceremony and the legal stuff if At-Tony can lasso that big buck, then back home to the mountains for the honeymoon where a Man can stretch out and fulfill great promise RIGHT.

  12. 05/18/2012jeff says:

    It’s legal in Iowa and TN is not that far away. Glad things are looking up!

  13. 05/18/2012Alex says:

    When the time comes why don’t you ask him?

  14. 05/18/2012mike says:

    First, great news Granny is home.

    Regarding marriage, I used to feel just like you. After being with my hub for over 20 years, it just didn’t feel necessary.**

    And then one day, as my Mike (yes, we’re both named Mike) and I drove to Cape Cod for our annual summer pilgrimage (Cape Cod, Pilgrims, get it? yuk yuk) we stopped at our annual half-way point for lobster rolls by the bay in Mystic, CT. As we ate, I joked that we could get married if we wanted to, MA had just changed the law so that out-of-staters could marry.

    Well, by the time we made to Chatham, MA, we’d decided to elope! I never thought it would make much difference … but it does. We stay at the Chatham Bars Inn, and when we asked them to throw together a quick ceremony for us with some food and flowers, the response was overwhelming. Everyone from the front desk, concierge, wait-staff and valets to the crusty old guy who tends to mechanics of the hotel was so excited for us!

    These strangers were so happy for us, and I can’t begin to admit the extent to which, from some unknown place in my heart, I’d longed for others to celebrate and be happy about our life together.

    And … just as a thought … perhaps you need to show the Attorney how it’s done. Maybe you should ask him proper.

    xo, mike

    ** Although the legal/civil benefits can be incredibly important.

  15. 05/18/2012Royster says:

    Mike’s lovely testimony above prompts this: though at heart, i am the very person that the DOMA peeps demonize (the type that thinks in terms of our guvmint, we are ALL in civil unions/domestic partnerships, and NONE of us deserve any tax breaks or insurance breaks for standing before a guvmint and/or religious figure and pledging any troths—as individual citizens, we have dependents that are elderly relatives and/or children/disabled relatives, but not another citizen who happens to be our domestic partner—in other words, a true separation of “state” and “church” that happens to bless some unions but not others)…i STILL can see the romance of what the Mikes did and what you contemplate with the lucky At-Tony. If it feels right for the two of you, just like it feels right for others of any gender to convert to or from Catholicism or Judaism or Islam or Wicca, then you should do it. Yet maybe it should have nothing to do with your guvmint’s tax or insurance laws, medical benefits, or privileges of visiting/decision-making in medical emergencies. All these many issues are separate and annoyingly must be dealt with one at a time, without an odd kind of Band-Aid of “marriage” to complicate them further. No doubt with his legal mind, your Howard Sprague has sussed out some of the pros and cons for the objective world, but you two know what is in your subjective hearts about how you care for each other, and that. is. the. most. important. thing. The rest is just semiotics and logistics.

  16. 05/18/2012David Asset says:

    Okay, I going to be harsh and tell you to get your ass up to the top of that cake and stop making ideological excuses. If your Attorney loves you and is ready to make that commitment to you and you feel the same (and I sense that you do from your blogs) than it’s time to get married. Aside from all the romantic considerations and historical considerations in terms of marriage equality, do it for legal reasons. There are over 1,000 rights that accrue to a married couple including inheritance, hospital visitation rights, healthcare initiative etc. etc. I’m sure the Attorney has told you this, after all he’s an attorney. I’ve been with my partner for 21 years. We loved each other from the beginning. We married seven years ago and here’s the best reason to get married, it made my partner so unbelievably happy that I was happy just to do this.

  17. 05/18/2012Chris says:

    I’m glad you’re grandmother is better, he obviously has a crush on you, what are you using for bait, oh yes I remember and it would be hard, that word, not to.

  18. 05/18/2012Greg says:

    So glad to Granny’s doing well…and that your heart is in such good shape, too. Sometimes all it takes for one’s evolution on the idea of gay marriage is the love of a good man. Cheers to you all, Tony!

  19. 05/18/2012Mark says:

    I too have felt the same way…… and have that one who would marry in a heartbeat…… I don’t feel the necessity of it, but would love the legal security………. if they just didn’t call it marriage……………
    glad to hear granny is home and doing better……. good thoughts to you, granny, and the attorney…………

  20. 05/18/2012Michael says:

    Maybe by the time you’re ready, it will be legal in Maryland as well. I would totally come and throw flower petals over y’all, or whatever, just to be able to say I’d witnessed the event.

    You guys give me hope for the future of this tired world. Thank you for being yourselves–and for sharing yourselves with us.

  21. 05/18/2012royster says:

    it would be great on here if, like on Facebook, we could “Like” comments….i really would do so to Michael’s comment above.

  22. 05/18/2012David SHP says:

    You are both very fortunate men. And Granny is a fortunate woman. Thanks for sharing. I’ve been reading two years before Large Tony ended (I even got scolded once for sticking up for you; but you were right, I should have been less mean.). It’s a nice warm atmosphere you make and I enjoy reading.

    I’m glad Granny is getting home!

  23. 05/19/2012Derek says:

    The power and simplicity of your prose is a gift. I thank you, through tears of joy.

  24. 05/19/2012TonkaManOR says:

    I’m glad that Granny is home and doing better. Now about that invitation?

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