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Summer Cold


I’ve been achy and sniffling for two days.

Because I can’t behave like a grown-up.

A rain storm started just as The Attorney and I got back from out Friday night date.

A gushing, skies opened, downpour.

There had been a big drop in temperature and it was cold.

Not bitter cold.

Summer cold.

And I loved it.

I’m a water baby by nature and I love anything that gets me wet.1

We ran from the car to the house. But  I stopped half way, peeled off my shirt, turned my chest to the heavens and let the shower pelt it and my face.

The Attorney, ever the grown-up, shouted from the porch to get my ass out of the rain.

I told him I wouldn’t until he came and kissed me in the rain.

Reluctantly he did.

A quick one. “Okay, can we go in now?”

I held him back and pulled his shirt over his head.

We kissed again.

Bare-chested in the rain.

I undid my britches and shook them down to my ankles.

Only thing I love more than getting wet is getting naked.2

I told him to take his off.

He refused.

But I had a way to convince him and eventually I did.

It wasn’t like we were not on private property a couple of acres from anyone else and under the cloak of night.

Plus we couldn’t go inside in soaked clothes.

So we made out  bare-chested and bare-assed in the rain, until we shivered, goose-bumps and all.

But that’s something only grown-ups should do, right?

And now I have a summer cold.

But it was worth it.

  1. In every sense of the term. 

  2. And date night meant no underpants. 


Somebody I Used To Know


Even though I am sort of near a mid-sized city, I actually live in a small town.

It’s not small enough that you know everybody.  But, live here long enough and you know a pretty good percentage of folks.

I’ve been here since the summer I turned 14, except for a few years between like 19 and 22. A net of about 20 years.

So, I know a lot of folks, and they know me.

A lot know about me.

That’s the way you put it around here.  Knowing about someone.

Those who don’t know for sure, have a pretty good idea.  Or at least wonder.

After all, I’m 39 years old and the rare times I’m seen around with someone, it’s with a long-legged dude.  I’m not  flag waver, but I don’t hide it, either.

It never seems to be an issue.  If it has been, except for a couple of times here and there, no one’s ever let me know. If there’s talk, it’s behind closed doors.

The couple of exceptions have been people I hadn’t known very long.

So, I was sort of taken by surprise by a girl I used to know.

“Girl” is probably not the right word anymore.  She’s a couple years younger than me.

But I remember her younger.  From the days when we used to hang out.

High school and maybe a little after.

I really couldn’t call it dating.  She was not a girl you dated.

But I did bang her quite thoroughly on a fairly regular basis for a few years.

Do you still call it a fuck buddy when it’s a female?

Whatever it’s called, she was okay with that arrangement.  I think she even preferred it that way.  I wasn’t her only buddy.

Anyway, her class had their 20th reunion the weekend of my birthday and I ran into her while she was in town.

It was cool to see her and all was pleasant.

At first, anyway.

She is now divorced and I got the sense she was hoping for a “stays in Vegas” type situation  while in the Smokies.

Once she found out I’m not married, she started the press.

To be fair, she didn’t come right out and say it, but I have a good sense of  those things.

So, I let her know fully what’s up with my status. The Attorney and everything.

That’s where the pleasantries ended.

It was the biggest record scratch ever, followed by the loudest silence ever.

A fair amount of distaste and disgust registered on her face.

And that was it.

She sort of shook her head and just walked away from me.

Right there in the Lowe’s parking lot.

Without another word between us.

I almost wish she had said something.  Just so I knew for sure where the response came from.

I’m pretty sure I know.

But, it could have been that I misread her flirt as something more and she was offended.

Although I doubt it.

That sort of thing never bothered her before.

Not the girl I used to know.




After today I will have 364 more that I can still say that I am in my 30′s.

Besides the family tradition of birthday pound cake, I also I have a private tradition of reflection.

Literally and figuratively.

I stand naked in the mirror, take in what I see and determine how I feel about what’s looking back.

Physically and spiritually.

The physical part is easy.

Not a whole lot changes in that way from year to year.

I’m still young enough that I am still 6′-3″.

I still have a big nose, big ears, hands, and feet.  Which some my offer as an explanation as to why other things turned out the way they did.

My belly is still flat. But even though I’m still technically skinny, sometime in the last year I moved up to 33 jeans.

There is even more grey in my beard and my skin is taking on the texture of a man approaching 40.

I feel like I still have good shoulders and arms, but even though I can still easily do 100 push-ups (and often do), I still don’t have much of a chest.

I’m still very healthy and a lot stronger than I look.

I can still rock your world in the sack with the fervor of and 18 year old, but with the knowledge of a man in his 30′s.

Beneath all that surface stuff, I’m content.

My life is simple.

And consistent.

And I prefer it that way.

I still eat oatmeal and an apple for breakfast almost every day.  And most days I do it on our screen porch enjoying the quiet noise of morning dew.  It’s my true alone time.  No Granny.  No Attorney.  NO TV, Twitter, or blog.  Just me and the mountains and morning wood.

I’ve worked the same job since the late 90′s and taken care of Granny almost as long.  I cook her meals, clean her clothes, and every couple of weeks re-teach her to use the remote control.

The Attorney and I have fallen into a very comfortable, if unusual, way of life together. It’s almost like couples where one partner works out of town.  The week is filled with text messages and good-night phone calls and finishes off with standing Friday night “dates” of burgers, Scrabble, and dancing in the sheets.  Sometimes it carries to Saturday and Sunday.  But when it doesn’t, that’s OK, too.

I look at where I am in life.   Is this where I am supposed to be at 39?

All, I can say is yes.

One, because I think everything happens for a reason.  The universe just doesn’t find it necessary to always let us know why.

And two, things can only be what they are.

We don’t always control our destiny, but we have the choice to let it effect our happiness.

So, I choose to be happy.

It’s not just for birthdays.



Just Because



You know that greeting cards that say “Just Because…?”

Well…just because…


Sistine Going on Seventies -NSFW



You know the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?

Where Michelangelo painted Creation of Adam?

What if did 70′s porn, too?

In case you missed it, a modern take on Gainsborough’s Blue Boy here. (NSFW)



The Marriage Fold


Granny is a worker.

It’s just her nature.

So much so that she gets very frustrated about the things she physically can’t do anymore.  Particularly things involving keeping the home.

She loves to cook, but can’t lift heavy pots and pans filled with food or comfortably stand for very long.

Most house work is out of the question except for light sweeping, which I ultimately go back and do because she doesn’t see well and I have OCD.

One thing she can still do is fold laundry.

I hate folding. But, my OCD will not allow me to not do it.

So, we often do it together.

I put a pile of socks on her lap and she matches and rolls them.

I do the rest and we talk.

A weeks or so ago, during one of our folding bees she turned the conversation, as she often does, to The Attorney and me.

“You know boys can marry boys, now” she reminded me for the umpteenth time.

It was kind of sweet but I had to remind her for the umpteenth time, “Not in Tennessee.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment.  Then she came back with “That’s not right.”

I don’t know if she meant that I was not right or the situation isn’t.

Either way, yes I am and no it isn’t.

Even though I am not itching to get married1, it’s not right that those who do have that itch have to go to another state to scratch it.

Around a month ago I ran into a guy I knew from about 20 years ago.  The last time I saw him, he was at Dairy Queen with his wife and little daughter.  He moved away at some point in those 20 years and was back in town visiting family.

With his husband.

We all had the feeling back then that he was gay.  Everyone seemed to feel that way.

Except his wife.

He looks great after all these years and he and his husband seem like a good couple.  They appeared to be very happy. And I’m happy for them.2

But, I couldn’t help wonder about his wife and daughter.

What is their life like now?

A common argument among the anti-gay marriage front is that gay marriage hurts straight marriage.

A bigger danger to straight marriages is not allowing gay marriage.

Here is a guy who  married a woman and fathered a child with her because society told him to.  And now they are divorced.

They may still be friends and everything beokay between them all.   That’s definitely the best case.

But if gay marriage had been available to him, perhaps they both would have married others and there might have been one less straight marriage hurt.

It’s all speculation, of course.  There’s no way to know what might have been.

He may have still been closeted and married her anyway.

Or if he was straight, they may still have gotten a divorce.

Which is sort of my point.

It isn’t sexuality that hurts marriages.

It’s marrying the wrong person, for whatever reason they are not the right one, that does.

  1. If it ain’t broke… 

  2. Interestingly he was surprised to find out I was not married.  Let alone not to a woman. 


The Question of Nudity – NSFW



There’s nothing like a naked man’s body.

Except maybe one that’s not quite naked.

I tend to get turned on more easily buy a guy in some clothes rather than none.

And I’m talking about regular clothes. Not something “designed” to be sexy.1

Clothes don’t make men sexy.

Men make clothes sexy.

I think it’s because I’m sort of a nudist at heart. I’d probably never wear clothes if it weren’t required by law. So I guess naked doesn’t seem as special to me.

And I kind of  like the idea of that last bit not coming off until I say so.

Or I do it myself.

Even then it doesn’t have to be all they way.

Nudity is more about comfort than function.

I only need you naked enough to do what needs to be done.

The britches don’t really have to come of.  They just need to be get below the cheeks.

You know. Low enough to get in.

And sometimes it’s good to have a shirt tail to grab onto when they get a little skittish and try to get away.  Especially if they have short hair.

Don’t get me wrong.  I can’t think of too many instances where I’m going to tell a man to put his clothes on.

So, I guess ultimately it works for me either way.

And as long as things are working, to be or not to be naked really isn’t a question.

  1. Most of that stuff just looks trashy. 


Leather Daddy-to-Be


I’ve been meaning for more than a week to follow up on The Attorney’s birthday.

Of course, that was the night of the Great Cutlery Assault of ’14.

But, otherwise it was a pretty wonderful night, despite Granny being cranky about the Harley shirt I got for her to give as a gift.

She didn’t like it.

“That’s just an cheap pullover.”

If I had told her I dropped 70 bucks on it, I would have really caught hell.

“If you had asked me, I would have picked out a nice dress shirt.  Something he could use.”

Yeah, Granny.  I bet he doesn’t already have dozens of those.

I explained the significance of the Harley shirt.  But she was convinced he would never wear it, so I promised her I would return it for something else.

Which I didn’t.

Because I knew she would forget.

And he would like it.

Which he did.

He thought it was the perfect compliment to the gift card for his helmet.

I won’t even begin to go into how Granny feels about how tasteless gift cards are.

But, it was for The Attorney.  Not for her.

He opened the little box after dinner, over pound cake.

And didn’t say a word, at first.

He looked at me funny.  I think because he wasn’t sure if it meant what he thought.

And didn’t want to ask, in case he was wrong.

So, I spoke first.

“You need to get yourself a helmet.”

He asked me if I was sure.

I ‘m sure that I don’t want to ever be a reason he feels unfulfilled.

So, I told him to take it how ever he wanted to.

He grinned his trademark huge-mouthed grin and I saw a weight lift off him that looked like it would have required ten men.

I had no idea, until then, just how tough a position I’d had put him in over the motorcycle.

“You know there’s no turning back, now,” he warned.

I’ll remind him of that when I complete his outfit with ass-less chaps for Christmas.


Modern Art (NSFW)


If Gainsborough were around today (and ran a porn studio), would The Blue Boy have looked more like this…?



Birthday sERprise


The Attorney spent his birthday night in the Emergency Room.

He’s okay.

Granny’s okay.

He was there with me.

They say to never fry bacon in the nude.

So, I don’t.

But nobody ever said don’t cut up a watermelon naked.

Thankfully, the better part of me is still in tact.

My right index finger, not as much.

So being naked really had nothing to do with the actual  injury.  Just the potential one.

Refractory period munchies had set in. So, we went down in the kitchen and I decided to cut up a watermelon.

I guess the counter got too wet in the process and the knife slipped.

It all  had to have happened in less than two seconds. But, it’s amazing how fast the brain can react.

It was long enough for my brain to register “Oops, I dropped something. Catch it.”  Then realize “No, I dropped a knife. Don’t catch it.”  Yet, not quite long enough for me to completely withdraw my hand.

So, instead, the knife caught me.

Luckily it avoided my junk and my feet on the way to the floor. But it did deflect toward the Attorney, causing him to Riverdance over it in his bare feet.

Because it’s one of the few chores she can still do and I also think she finds the mindless repetition of the job peaceful, Granny is constantly scraping the kitchen knives across the whet stone.  Consequently, the blade was very sharp.1 So, the cut was really deep.

I don’t think I have ever bled so much from a quick cut.  Or for so long.  It wouldn’t quit, so The Attorney insisted on the ER.

His birthday became about me, and now four hours, one tetanus shot, antibiotics, and nine stitches later, we’re home and no round two.  But, I think he was happy about how things went other wise.2

In hindsight, it’s probably a good thing The Attorney was here3 because I am not the doctor/medicine type.  Who knows, I could have bled out and died naked on the kitchen floor in a pool of my own blood, garnished with black seeds.

I guess the forensics team could easily put together what happened.  But, I think the immediate reaction upon walking in would have been priceless.

Especially if  the found Granny calmly biding her time at the whet stone.

  1. It also explains why it flew through the watermelon like a hot knife in butter. 

  2. More on that later. 

  3. although I probably would not have been cutting up a watermelon last night if he wasn’t 

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